


SNK Kindergarten AU

by akiiteru



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: dorky 5-year-olds, there's some Jean/Marco if you squint, this is not how kindergarten works and I do not care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akiiteru/pseuds/akiiteru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a kindergarten teacher trying to handle a group of brats that are the most insane 5-year-olds he has ever encountered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone requested a fic including 5-year-old Marco and I turned the idea into this.

Why was Levi doing this again? Oh, right, he desperately needed money. But was the $20 an hour worth this?  
  
Levi looked into the room full of grubby 5-year-olds. It definitely wasn’t worth it.  
  
A sudden hand on his shoulder startled him and he jumped. The tall, blond man who had just somehow sneaked up on him gave a hearty chuckle.  
  
“Hello there!” he said a little too cheerfully for Levi’s taste. “I’m Erwin Smith, you must be Levi.” The shorter man nodded begrudgingly. Erwin continued. “I’m glad to see you here, the kids have been needing a new supervisor since their last one died of a heart attack.”  
  
Levi cringed and looked up at the still-smiling blond. “Harsh.”  
  
“Yes, it was hard for all of us. But the kids are the top priority.” He held out his hand and Levi gave it a firm shake. “Welcome to the team.”  
  
[The team? What was this, a sports league?] Levi scoffed. Erwin took this kindergarten way too seriously. He trudged into the room full of little brats. It was silent for a moment as they all looked up at him with wide eyes and food-covered faces. Then one of them, with a mop of dark hair and angry-looking eyes, threw a block at him. Levi caught it and nearly threw it back, but restrained himself. He needed this money. Badly.  
  
“Hello, brats,” he grumbled. A small blond boy with a stupid haircut and huge blue eyes waved, but the rest just watched Levi intently.  
  
“I am your new ‘supervisor.’” He used airquotes but realized that the kids wouldn’t understand anyway. “Now, I don’t want any messes, fighting, or crying. Do you understand?” The blond boy nodded vigorously. The angry kid threw another block. Levi heard a shout of “Eren! Stop!”  
  
[So the angry kid’s name is Eren. What a dumb name.] Levi sat at his desk, which was unfortunately covered in a thick layer of dust. He swept it off with the sleeve of his jacket, then quickly took the jacket off and hung it on the back of his chair.  
  
The blond kid walked up to him furtively and muttered “Hi.” Levi looked over at him tiredly. “What do you want?”  
  
The boy smiled. “I wanted to welcome you to the class.” He held his tiny hand out. “I’m Armin.”  
  
Levi looked at his hand, which had a mysterious sticky substance on it, with a grimace. “Hello, Armin.”  
  
Levi’s words seemed to be good enough, and Armin ran off to talk to Eren and a girl with thick black hair and a bored expression. They were all sitting smack in the middle of the room, oblivious to the antics of the other children around them. A boy with a crewcut and a girl with a messy ponytail were running around and stealing the other kids’ lunches, laughing hysterically all the while.  
  
A freckled, dark-haired boy was sitting at the small table in the corner of the room, coloring messily with a red crayon. Sitting next to him was another boy with fluffed-up, dull blondish hair, who was “helping” by trying to grab the crayon. It was quite amusing to Levi; watching the kindergarteners form their little society.   
  
He looked over the papers at his desk. One of them had “Attendance Sheet” printed neatly across the top. He groaned. More communication with the brats.  
  
“Okay,” he shouted, catching the kids’ attention. “Time for attendance. You should know how to do this, I’ll say your name and you just say ‘here’ and then I’ll write your name down. Understand?” The children nodded.  
  
“Mikasa.”  
  
The bored-looking girl with Armin and Eren responded with “Here, sir.” Levi gave her a weird look. Sir?  
  
“Armin.”  
  
“Here!” Armin said overenthusiastically.  
  
“Sasha.”  
  
Ponytail Girl had her mouth stuffed full of food and gave a muffled response.  
  
“Marco.”  
  
Freckle Boy grinned and raised his hand, dropping his crayon. The blond kid next to him grabbed it and held it up victoriously.  
  
“Reiner.”  
  
“Here.”  
  
“Mina.”  
  
“Here!”  
  
“Ymir.”  
  
“Here.”  
  
“Bertholdt.”  
  
A tall boy, sitting beside Reiner, said something so quietly Levi couldn’t even hear it, but he assumed it was the right kid.  
  
“Eren.”  
  
Eren shouted “Here!” very, very loudly.  
  
“Jean.”  
  
Blondie with the crayon shouted even louder than Eren. Levi felt a migrane coming on.  
  
“Annie.”  
  
An intimidating-looking blonde girl with Bertholdt and Reiner looked up and glared at Levi. He took that as a “here.”  
  
“Historia.”  
  
A very small blonde raised her hand.  
  
“Connie.”  
  
Crewcut Kid, who was at the moment trying to steal a container of Cheerios from Sasha, quickly said “I’m here,” and went back to the task at hand.  
  
“Thomas.”  
  
A blond boy who Levi hadn’t noticed before replied softly.  
  
“So that’s everyone.” Levi slammed the paper down on his desk and collapsed in his chair. It had only been 10 minutes and he was already exhausted.


	2. 'Titans'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren comes up with a terrible idea for a game. 
> 
> Some Jean POV and a-bit-less-than-subtle Jean/Marco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are lots and lots of spoilers here up to chapter 42 of the manga. Only read this chapter if you've read that far or don't mind spoilers ^-^

“Hey, Jean, come here!” Connie called out to Jean. The rest of the kids were gathered in the center of the room. Jean rushed over excitedly, curious as to what was going on.  
  
“Eren came up with a game called ‘Titans’ and we’re gonna play,” Connie whispered to Jean.  
  
“Okay!” Eren called out loudly. “I’m the team captain, and Mikasa and Armin are my co-captains. You are all new re-… re…” he paused for a moment, searching for the right word. Armin whispered something to him.  
  
“Recruits!” Eren continued. “That means you have to listen to me.”  
  
A few kids let out whines of complaint but Eren ignored them. “What we’re gonna do is… fight titans!” The room was silent for a moment.  
  
“What’s a titan?” Sasha questioned.  
  
Eren grinned. “They’re huge, scary monsters, as tall as the ceiling!”  
  
Everyone looked up and gasped.  
  
“They’ll eat you if you’re not careful,” he added with genuine fear. More shocked gasps came from the scared kindergartners.  
  
“We have to fight them, but-” Armin said, standing next to Eren. Eren interrupted him. “It’s really hard, so only the strongest can do it,” he challenged. “So, will you play?”  
  
The small crowd before him was confident and agreed. Soon, the game was underway.  
  
It was chaotic; children running around the room and falling over and yelling loudly. Jean got really into it; crying out as he pretended to stab a titan with his imaginary sword. He saw Mikasa expertly leaping over chairs and piles of blocks, looking frighteningly serious. Even sweet and gentle Marco was joining in on the fun.  
  
Thomas tripped on the edge of the carpet and fell to the floor, resulting in Eren calling out “Thomas got eaten!” Thomas played along and stayed flat on the floor, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out for dramatic effect. Mina tripped over his legs.  
  
“Mina got eaten too!”  
  
Eren, even with all of his confidence, was clumsy. His foot caught on the edge of a table and he hit the floor, hard.  
  
“Eren was eaten!” Armin yelled. Eren quickly got back up.  
  
“Hey, you can’t get up, you’re dead!” Jean said angrily.  
  
Eren just smiled. “I can turn into a titan, so I can’t die.”  
  
“That’s not fair!” shouted Jean. “Stay dead!”  
  
“It’s my game, so I can do what I want.” Eren crossed his arms.  
  
Jean kicked him in the shin and ran off, fuming. If Eren wasn’t going to play fair, what was the point?

 

Soon enough, Annie was claiming that she could turn into a titan, too. Of course, Bertholdt and Reiner were right behind her, and they ran along trying to shove the other kids over. Jean barely avoided Reiner’s outstretched arms. He looked around for Marco, hoping that they could team up against the new threat. But the dark-haired boy was nowhere to be seen amongst the chaos. Finally, Jean spotted the familiar freckled face, and gasped when he realized that Marco was slumped up against the wall with closed eyes. He rushed over as fast as he could and knelt down.  
  
“Marco?  
  
Marco stayed silent, though his eye twitched slightly.  
  
“No, Marco, don’t be dead,” Jean whimpered. He poked his arm experimentally.  
  
Marco’s eyes opened just a bit. “Shh, Jean, I got eaten. You’re not supposed to see me,” he said in a hushed tone.  
  
Jean let out a sigh of relief. He nearly forgot that it was just a game.

 

A large argument was breaking out at the other side of the room. Eren yelled something about Annie not being allowed to be a titan, and Annie shoved him down.  
“What on Earth is going on over here?” Levi had finally gotten sick of all the noise and stood up, looming over the kindergarteners.  
“We were playing Titans,” Eren whined. “Annie isn’t being nice.”  
  
Annie aimed a kick at Eren’s leg, but Levi gave her a stern look and she backed off.  
  
Eren huffed out an angry sigh. “And Ymir and Historia won’t play right.”  
  
Ymir yelled “I told you, Eren, we have all the secrets to the titan world! And Historia’s name is Christa now because she needs to change her name to protect her identity.”  
  
“That’s stupid!” Eren yelled. “You won’t even tell us the secrets, that’s unfair!”  
  
“How about you play something a little less… rowdy,” Levi suggested. He seriously couldn’t wait to go home and leave these stupid brats.  
  
A few of the less stubborn kids agreed and went off to color or use the blocks, but Eren stood his ground. “I don’t want to.”  
  
“Well, that’s too bad Eren,” Levi said in a strained tone. “Because I’m insisting.”  
  
Eren glared at the teacher. “You can’t tell me what to do.”  
  
Levi kept his cool. “I could call your mother and make her come tell you what to do,” he threatened.  
  
“My mom’s dead.”  
  
Levi stood in shock for a moment. “Just go off and play with something else, Eren.”  
  
Eren frowned and stomped off to join Mikasa and Armin.


	3. Maria, Rose, & Sina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren & the gang get too worked up over toys and Annie, Bert, and Reiner are meanies. Also some more JeanMarco for my own sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short! More is coming, I promise. School has been tough and I haven't had much time to write.

Armin sighed dejectedly. He had an idea to stop the argument and continue the game, but nobody listened to him. As usual. It was like the other kids _tried_ to be oblivious to his ideas.

 

Now Armin was building an intricate formation out of wooden blocks. He made a large, circular wall, 5 blocks high. After he finished the first wall, he added another wall inside it. Finally, a third wall inside the second. Mikasa was helping him by making small “buildings” inside each wall. Now there was a layout of three outlying walls, with stacks of blocks to represent cities inside. Armin was quite proud of it.

"Eren," Armin called out to his pouting friend. "Help me make these walls taller."

Eren, still frowning, grabbed a handful of blocks and added a few to the outer wall.

 

Bertholdt and Reiner walked over to the small group, who were hard at work on their block structure.

“Hi,” Armin said, a bit nervously. The look in the two boys' eyes was unnerving.

“Do it,” Reiner whispered to the tall boy beside him. Bertholdt hesitantly kicked his foot forward and toppled part of the outer wall. Reiner helped him, kicking over another section. Armin started crying and the two boys ran for it, back over to Annie, who gave them a smirk when she looked over and saw the damage.

Eren stood with an upset whine. "Hey!" He took a step towards the fleeing boys. He felt a hand grip his wrist and looked down in confusion. 

“Just help me rebuild it,” Armin sniffled. “They just want to mess with us. If you fight with them you’ll get in trouble.”

Eren attempted to protest, but Mikasa sided with Armin. It was stupid to initiate conflict with Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt.

 

“What do you want to play now?” Marco asked Jean cheerfully. He was now acting very much alive, though he was confused as to why Jean was so scared previously. Jean suggested drawing on the large whiteboard at the back of the room, and Marco (of course) happily agreed. 

The whiteboard was high off the ground, since it was technically for the teacher’s use only, so Marco had to pull up two chairs beneath it. He climbed up on one and helped Jean onto the other, so they had full access to the bottom half of the board. Two thick, black markers laid in the tray beneath the board and each boy grabbed one. They doodled messily, Marco drawing a cat and Jean drawing what he thought a titan looked like. Marco looked over to Jean’s drawing and gasped. 

“That’s scary,” he commented on the human-like form Jean was scribbling out. It had a hairless, oval-shaped head and grinning, exposed teeth. Jean added a bony nose and set down his marker. “There, done.”

Marco envied Jean’s drawing. It was a lot better than his. As he was focusing on Jean, he didn’t notice where the chair ended and the open air began. 

He slipped, falling against the board and sliding down a few inches. Jean reached out and caught his hand before he fell all the way off of the chair, pulling him back up to where he could get his footing. Unfortunately, half of Marco’s face and upper body was covered in the smudged black remains of whiteboard marker where he rubbed against it. Jean tried to rub it off but it insistently stayed on, marring the freckled boy’s face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for lunch, reading, and naps! No sad parallels this time, I promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in so long!

Levi searched through the pile of papers on his desk, looking for a schedule of some kind. Finally he found one. 

_10:00- Attendance, Play Time_  
 _11:00- Lunch_  
 _11:30- Reading_  
 _12:00- Naptime_  
 _1:00- Dismissal_

He looked up at the clock. Only two hours until he could go. 

“Lunchtime,” he called out to the kindergartners. A few kids cried “Yay!” and ran to the classroom door. The others formed a disorderly line. 

“If you could even call it a line,” Levi grumbled unter his breath. He led the kids down the short hallway to the lunchroom. 

“Hi, Mr. Pixis!” the kids shouted as a familiar mustached man opened the door for them. 

He grinned. “Hi, kids!”

Sasha ran over and hugged his legs. He gently pulled her off of him and walked behind the lunch counter, where stacks of sandwiches were awaiting the children. It was chaos as the kids scrambled to get ahead of each other in line, but eventually small groups were sitting at the spread-out lunch tables.

“You’re free to go,” Mr. Pixis said to Levi. “I’ll watch the kids from here.”

Levi thanked him and exited quickly to escape the noise.

 

The cafeteria echoed with the shouts of the kindergartners. 

“Hey, that’s my cookie!” Sasha screeched at Connie, diving on him and nearly knocking him to the floor.

Eren started screaming, seemingly in pain, and Mr. Pixis came running over to his table.

“What’s wrong?” Mr. Pixis asked worriedly.

“Jean bit me!” Eren sobbed, pointing at the perpetrator, who was making an obvious effort to prevent himself from laughing. 

“Jean, what did I tell you about biting?” Mr. Pixis said sternly. 

Jean crossed his arms. “Eren was being mean.”

“No I wasn’t!” Eren argued. 

Jean pouted. “You said I look like a horse!”

“It wasn’t mean, that’s just a fact!”

Mr. Pixis shushed them. “Now, now, will you two stop arguing if I give you both a cookie?”

The two boys nodded eagerly. Mr. Pixis gave them each an extra cookie, trying to be sneaky so the other kids wouldn’t see. When he turned to go back to the kitchen, he nearly bumped into Sasha.

“Since you gave Jean and Eren an extra cookie, can I have one?” she asked loudly. Too loudly. Every other child in the cafeteria turned and stared at Mr. Pixis. 

He nearly cursed aloud.

\- - -

Ten minutes later, when Levi returned to bring them back to the classroom, all of the kindergarteners had finished eating their extra cookies. They lined up quickly, hyped up on sugar. Jean, in the rush, fell flat on his face and Eren nearly collapsed laughing. 

Back at the classroom, it was reading time. Everyone gathered on the rug in the center of the room. The tiny blonde girl, Historia, held out a thin book. It was Jack and the Beanstalk. 

“You have to read to us,” she explained. Levi took the book and flipped it open. The moment he started reading, he heard whispers. The source of the whispers was shushed immediately. 

The story was long, and it took Levi quite a while to finish it. Just when he thought he was in the clear, Reiner stood up, holding another book. 

Sensing the confusion on Levi’s face, Armin explained: “It’s Reiner’s turn to read today. We get to practice with picture books. Reiner is the best reader in the class.”

The best reader in the class, as it turned out, was quite good (for a five-year-old). Reiner could read every word in the book and spoke loudly and clearly. When he was finished, everyone clapped and he sat back down. 

“Now it’s naptime,” Levi announced to the group of children, some of whom were yawning. Eren had fallen asleep on Mikasa’s shoulder. 

“What’s the protocol?” Levi whispered to Armin, who seemed to think that Levi was now his best friend because he needed his help. 

“We get our sleeping bags and spread them out on the rug. Don’t let Eren and Jean get anywhere near each other. Besides that, we can do everything ourselves.”

Levi took Armin’s advice and made sure to oversee the placing of sleeping bags. Eren, now awake, layed his down beside Mikasa’s and Armin’s, while Jean was on the opposite side of the rug with Marco, Connie, and Sasha. Everything was going smoothly, until Ymir started complaining loudly about not having enough room to put her sleeping bag down. She pushed Armin’s out of the way, which prompted an angry outburst from Eren. It was resolved when Armin convinced Eren that his sleeping bag was fine where Ymir had tossed it. 

_Ah, that’s the end of that,_ Levi thought. _Now I can relax. _He was wrong.__

A small hand tugged on Levi’s sleeve. 

“I’m not tired,” Bertholdt whispered. He looked up, his shaggy brown hair falling in his eyes. 

Levi waved his hand dismissively. “Go read in the corner, then.” 

“I can’t read.” 

Levi sighed. “Go play with the blocks, then.” 

“I don’t want to,” Bertholdt complained. 

“Well,” Levi countered, “what do you _want_ to do?” 

Bertholdt thought for a moment. “I’m hungry,” he said finally. 

“You _just_ had lunch.” 

The small boy frowned. “Okay, I’ll try to sleep then.” 

“Good.” Levi patted his head, and he hurried away. 

Levi smiled to himself. He was rather proud of how good he was with these kids; the day hadn’t been very hard as of yet. He hoped the day would continue as it was. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thanks for sticking with this story until the end! :D

The kids woke up slowly, one-by-one. 

First was Eren, who shook Armin awake and began talking so loudly Levi feared he would wake up the other children. Apparently they were very heavy sleepers, because the only one to sit up was Jean, who told Eren to “shut it.”

Everybody was awake by quarter to one. Since nothing else was planned, Levi gave them free time. 

That was a mistake.

Only a few minutes passed before loud screaming echoed throughout the room.

“It wasn’t my fault!” A girl’s voice shouted, and Levi pinned the voice as Annie. 

The person to whom the other voice belonged was so screechy and hysterical, they were unidentifiable. Levi approached them carefully. 

One of the children was sitting on the floor, sobbing and clutching his right arm. The scattered freckles across his arm identified him as Marco. 

The hysterical kid was Jean, shouting what sounded like accusations at Annie. Her usually dead-looking eyes were wide and scared. 

“It was an accident, Jean! I’m sorry!”

Levi put a hand on Jean’s shoulder before he could start throwing punches. He was crying even harder than Marco, the injured one, was. 

“Everyone calm down.” Levi held out his hand to Marco, who took it and pulled himself off the floor with his useable arm. “I’m going to take Marco to the nurse’s office. Try to get along while I’m gone.”

He knew that there was no chance of _that_ happening, but Marco’s well-being was far more important. Levi led him to the nurse’s office across the hall.

The school nurse had their brown hair in a high ponytail, and thick-rimmed glasses. 

“Dr. Zoë,” Levi began, reading the nurse’s name off of the nameplate beside the door. “Marco has an injured arm. I’m not sure if it’s broken or not, but I assume that you can figure that out.”

The nurse took Marco’s hand and led him into the room. They thanked Levi and got to work, giving Marco some pain medicine. Levi waited for confirmation that he could go, and trudged back towards the classroom. He cringed as he opened the door, expecting the worst. What he found was extremely surprising.

 

Everyone was calm. 

Jean was sitting on the floor next to Eren and Armin. Bertholdt was comforting Annie. The other children were gathered around them, looking confused. 

“What happened?” Levi asked cautiously. 

Annie looked up at him, her emotionless expression returning. “We were just playing, and Marco tripped. I was standing next to him when he fell, but I didn’t do it.”

Jean looked like he was about to argue against Annie’s claim, but Armin stopped him. 

The kids sat in silence until the clock signified that it as dismissal time.

Parents began showing up, knocking on the door and peeking their heads in the room. The children’s faces lit up and they ran to the door.

“Hi, Hannes!” Eren yelled across the room at a cheerful-looking blond man.

The man picked him up, and Eren looked genuinely happy for the first time that day. Mikasa was close behind him, clinging to the man’s pant leg until he grabbed her hand. 

An older-looking woman with her grey hair in a tight bun walked in next. Jean walked up to her, waving goodbye to Armin.

After that came Annie’s grim-looking father, Armin’s grandfather, and Sasha’s mother, holding a McDonald’s bag. Levi had to redirect a dark-haired, freckled woman to the nurse’s office. 

The last student to leave was Historia. A man in a suit and dark glasses ushered her out to a limousine in the parking lot.

Levi sat alone in the room until the principal stuck his head through the doorway. 

“How was your first day?”

Levi groaned. “Tiring.”

Erwin chuckled. “That was to be expected. You’re free to go now, come in tomorrow at the same time.”

“Oh, boy,” Levi said sarcastically. But truthfully, he sort of enjoyed teaching the little brats. 

_Sort of._

And he was _just slightly_ looking forward to the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agender school nurse Hanji is the best Hanji ^^
> 
> That’s the end! Thank you for reading, and comments are always appreciated! :)


End file.
